cry cry cry

My first Heartbreak as a Chicago Cubs fan happened today, I am not going to let it mar what I believe 2009 to be, but my heart has broken. The Cubs traded Mark DeRosa today for Aaron Miles and 3 minor league pitchers. They say that your first heartbreak is the hardest and it gets somewhat easier from here, but I just don't know how. I am sad. As a new fan of the Chicago Cubs, I have enjoyed the team the last two years and have not had any form of sadness (other than the obvious not making it to the World Series), but I have listened to die hard Cubs fans Adam, Mike Honcho, Angie, BJ and JC talk about the team and how they have been hurt and how they really love the Cubs. I would listen and nod like I new what they were talking about, but in reality I had never been hurt by the Cubs, disappointed yes, but never hurt. Well my friends, today I was hurt, physically and mentally hurt. It makes me sad to know that next season I will not be able to watch DeRo in a Cubbie uniform or follow his blog recapping on the games and displaying his personal feelings. I felt DeRo and I had a connection, an understanding. All I needed to be a Cubs fan was him in a uniform...but now he is no longer and I am lost. I have been christened a Cubs Fan now that I have experienced the heartache and if this is what it means to be a fan, I hope I have the strength to continue. I know I will, but truly I haven't been this hurt since Oscar DeLaHoya decided to put out an album...and that was painful.